Songs My Father Never Sang

by Charlie Schneeweis

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Quinn McGarrigle
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Quinn McGarrigle Really interesting sound and narrative! Would love to hear more Favorite track: Heaven and Hell.
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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    All proceeds from sales of this project will go to the Thosum Gephelling Institute in Williamsville, Vermont to help with it's ongoing support of weekly, free Buddhist teachings and fellowship.

      $5 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    I will soon have a very limited number of discs with a version of this project where I've set the crossfades between songs in order to give it an interesting flow - more like the "concept albums" from the 70's (remember laying on the floor with headphones on, staring at black light posters and lava lamps?). They come in a digipack case with no shrink-wrap (you're welcome) and also include an actual physical object (CD) with a lyric sheet. All proceeds will go to support the Thosum Gephelling Institute in Williamsville, Vermont, where nice people gather for weekly free teachings.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Songs My Father Never Sang via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 20 days
    edition of 150 

      $10 USD or more 

     

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about

The music for this project explores three experiential states - dreaming, unconscious deep sleep and being awake. Of the three, we believe that authentic experience resides most fully in the awakened state. When we consider the limitations of such a construction and entertain the possibility that the dreaming state and the "nothingness" of deep sleep offer views of equally credible realities, we expand the circumstances for self-awareness and our understanding of existence.

credits

released June 3, 2015

Music, lyrics, vocals, instruments, recording, mixing and arrangements by Charlie Schneeweis
All words and music ©2015 by Charlie Schneeweis. All rights reserved.

Gratitude for the gifts of my ancestors.

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Charlie Schneeweis Marlboro, Vermont

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Track Name: Three Different States
Three Different States

Waking, dreaming and deep sleep
Sleep, sleep
Three different states, three different states
But different consciousness from sleep…to awake….awake…awake

We inhabit each
Dreaming, sleep, awake
Same body
Waking, sleep, dreaming - same brain, same body
But different consciousness
Same brain but different consciousness...different consciousness…different consciousness…from sleep to awake

Three different states – waking, dreaming and deep sleep…deep sleep…sleep…sleep

From sleep to awake
Track Name: Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

Verse:
A knight in shining armor meets a monk in an enchanted wood
He says he wants a very simple question answered if he could
He wants to know what heaven’s like and how it’s not the same as hell
And he should have the answer quick if now the monk would only tell
The monk replied with much disdain, “ I couldn’t teach a thing to you.
Your dirty hands and ugly face, your simple mind discredits all you do.
I see you’re an embarrassment, now leave my sight – be off with you

Chorus:
Before you leave I see you have a neglected sword
Too dull no doubt to take my head with such a rusty blade.”
The knight feels (holds) passionate anger
Consumed by rage he draws his sword in indignation and irritation
He raises it above his head to slay the disrespectful monk who softly says,
“Welcome to hell” (here is your hell; here it is)

Verse:
As if the monk had cast a spell, a frozen knight with sword in air
A glimpse of hell is what he sees – it isn’t far away , it’s here
Observing the compassion of the monk, who risks his life to show
A lesson of both love and kindness many men will never know
He is overcome with awe and lowers down his sword to stay
And with this sudden peacefulness and calm his anger fades away
With grateful tears that fill his eyes he falls upon his knees to pray

Chorus:
And bowing low in thanks and gratitude
he hears the gentle being say these words,
“Welcome to the gates of Heaven”
You can never wish for gratitude
You can only find it for yourself
(it’s here right now it’s always there)
Track Name: The Waking State
The Waking State

In the waking state
In the waking state
Both consciousness and body living together – living together

In the waking state
Both consciousness and body living together – living together
Track Name: Nothing to Lose
Nothing to Lose

Don’t look at me, I’m an animal
Just look away and I’m invisible
I’d rather be unemotional

I keep my heart in my overcoat
Hidden from you
Hidden from me
Nothing to feel
Nothing to see
I can be so unapproachable
I will protect myself from anyone or anything that threatens me

Chorus
I’m living deep
Deep in a dream
I’m in the trance
in the trance of unworthiness

(it’s up to me, I’m all alone
It’s up to me , I’m alone and invisible)

I’m living deep
Deep in a dream
I’m in the trance
in the trance of unworthiness


(I have to blame, I have to hide
I cannot fail, that would be unforgivable)

I’m living deep
Deep in a dream
I’m in the trance
in the trance of unworthiness

I’m living deep
Deep in a dream
I’m in the trance
in the trance of unworthiness

Sometimes I think I’m unlikeable
And find myself unacceptable
When I’m the cause of unpleasantness
and things go wrong, I’m responsible
I guess that I’m unreliable

(I’m) Broken and Wrong
(I’m) Damaged and bad

(with) nothing to lose

Doubting myself is precarious
For in the moment when I make myself what’s wrong my world will disappear

I must be strong and unbreakable
I can’t be weak or predictable
With no protection I am weaponless and still I’m all alone
An open heart is indefensible
(but) I know the score

yes I’m in the know
There’s nothing to lose

Don’t look at me I’m an animal
I only know what I’m sure about
I’ll never know or believe that I belong
Track Name: Drinking Poison
Drinking Poison

Negativity – comes so easily -- but instead of tea --it’s like drinking poison, this avoiding opens doors for ignorance and suffering

CHORUS:
Will I change something true inside me
If I’m looking instead of hiding
Can I see any thoughts behind the pain
(Lurking just beyond what you can see)

Nothing here in my situation
Is the cause of this agitation
What are bad are the thoughts I entertain
(You believe that your thoughts are really true)

It’s extraordinary
When I finally comprehend that
What I’m thinking just may not be true
(all your thoughts are temporary)

When I think that I got an answer
To the question of the moment
My days of drinking poison now are through
(Am I out of your mind?)

Cherishing myself invites attachment, hatred, enemies and lonely suffering

(CHORUS)

Are you still gonna drink the poison? Do you really have to suffer?
Does it help you if you suffer? Should you really have to suffer?
Do you like the taste of poison? Do you really like to suffer?
Do you want to suffer anymore?
Will it help if you choose to suffer more ?
Should you really suffer anymore?
Are you still gonna drink the poison? Do you really have to suffer?
Does it help you if you suffer? Do you like the taste of poison?
Do you really like to suffer? Do you want to suffer anymore?
Track Name: The Dreaming State
The Dreaming State

In the dreaming state
The body is abandoned
The body is abandoned
The body is abandoned

The body is retreated from….retreated from…retreated from
The body is retreated from….retreated from…retreated from

In the dream state
In the dream state
In the dream state

The body is abandoned … abandoned… abandoned
And retreated from… retreated from…retreated from
Track Name: Breathing
Breathing

No one comes, no one goes, resting in the Middle Way
No one strong, no one weak, no one young, no one old
In “the seen” only what is seen, in “the heard”, only heard
In “the thought” there is only thought, in “the word”, only word

The mind insists on Past
The mind insists on Future

Breathing in after breathing out, breathing out after in…
Breathing in after breathing out, breathing out after in…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out…
Breathing….breathing…breathing…breathing
Breathing….breathing…breathing…breathing
Breathing….breathing…breathing…breathing

In the mind, it is not to be – “Mind” is not to be found
Thoughts are clouds passing in the sky, waves that roll in the sea
Thoughts dissolve even as they form – is it silence or a sound?
Pure, clear light- flower of the mind – knowing luminosity

The mind insists on Past
The mind insists on Future

Subtle wind meets the subtle mind
In the union there is Light
Breathing out after breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out
Breathing out, breathing in… Breathing in after breathing out
Track Name: Deep Sleep
Deep Sleep

In our deepest sleep
In our deepest sleep
We experience nothing….nothing

In our deepest sleep
We are unconscious
Track Name: Enemies
Enemies

When others speak against him, his anger only grows
It justifies the hatred and the contempt for all his foes
He feels he needs protection from the world and it’s deceits
His judgment, fear and suspicion of the people that he meets
He asked the local wise man to alleviate his dread
He must have been mistaken – for this is what he said:
“Cultivate compassion for your enemies instead.”

He spoke about not knowing and delusion and what’s at hand
“Just ask yourself, “What is this?”, and try to understand
Our clinging moves to resentment, to judgment, then on to blame
Our aversion moves to anger, to embarrassment, then shame
You want to face the world without fear and loss and pain?
Then save contempt for no one, in revenge it’s you who’ll pay.
Practice loving-kindness on your enemies today.”


“We spend our lives protecting the possessions we hold dear-
From threatening situations – from pain and loss and fear
Forget about perfection. Instead, right now be here.”
Track Name: Sweet Dreams
Sweet Dreams

Are you sleeping?
Are you awake?
Are you sleeping?
Are you just asleep??

Sleeping?
Sleep…sleep… sweet dreams
Sweet dreams….sleeping
Are you awake? Awake?


Are you dreaming? Dreaming?
Are you dreaming?
Track Name: Beyond Eden
Beyond Eden


Let us who seek wisdom, investigate
Let us who seek wisdom, investigate
Let us who seek wisdom, investigate

There is a story of a garden called Eden
Of a time and place where lovers fell
And in this garden in a secret hidden valley
Grows forbidden fruit from a very special tree

When first they spied it in the branches of the tree
They were truly frightened by their discovery
They picked and ate the fruit together fearlessly
And tasted of it’s sweetness, they’d sealed their destiny
They’d lost their way from Eden

Do you agree?
Do you believe that feeling or knowing are good or bad or even real ?
Do you agree? Do you believe?
Believe.


Once they both had tasted and the forbidden sweet they shared
They had no more questions or answers to their prayers
Hand in hand they wandered, side by side they roamed
Arm in arm they slept the sleep of those who’d lost their home
Hoping for redemption and holding off despair
They traveled out of Eden with a fate that they would share
Forsaking every safety to hide themselves away
Beyond the gates of Eden…
Beyond the gates of Eden…
Beyond the gates of Eden
Track Name: Sleeping is Like Death
Sleeping is Like Death

Sleeping Sleeping
Sleep sleeping
Sleeping
Sleeping sleeping
Sleeping

Sleeping is like death everyday of our lives
Sleeping is like death
Sleeping is like death everyday of our lives
Sleeping is like death everyday of our lives
Track Name: Sometimes I Forget
Sometimes I Forget

Free, that’s what I say that I want to be
(That’s what you say. That’s what - that’s what you always say)
Free from pain and free from any worry
Freedom from suffering and from death
(You can’t be free- you can’t be free as long as there’s a “me”)
I’m looking for the root of happiness
What is the cause of all my misery?
(It’s in your head - it’s in your head - it’s all inside your head)

As if the things I fear are from outside
And not creations of my troubled mind
(It’s from your mind but you can’t see- it’s your responsibility)
Still doubting in the possibility
The very things I want imprison me
(You hold them tight- you grasp and cling, and they to you mean everything)

The nature of myself I come to see
I suffer when I just can’t let go
(It brings you pain, yet you can’t see- in selfishness you’re never free)
Sometimes I forget the things that I know

I’m looking at creations of my mind
(Hallucinate- hallucinate, your mind hallucinates)
And what appears to me is still untrue
(You decorate, you decorate with pretty labels of what’s “me” and “mine”)

The nature of myself not what it seems
(Not what you seem, you’re really not- you’re just projections of your mind)
And who I am is something like a dream
(You make it up – you always make it up – you make it up each day)

Now I know the cause of my misery
(You think you know? You think you really, really know?)
A selfish mind brings much suffering
(A selfish mind, it brings you pain – it’s not the “you” I see)
Sometimes I forget the things that I know
Track Name: Hatred and Love
Hatred and Love

Only Love can heal
Hatred never conquers Hatred
Only Love can heal…only Love
Hatred never heals the heart

Hatred never stopped by Hate
Hatred never conquers Hate
Hatred never healed a heart
Only Love alone can heal

Hatred never stopped by Hate
Hatred never conquers Hate
Hatred never healed a heart
Only Love alone can heal

Hatred never stopped by Hate
Hatred never conquers Hate
Hatred never healed a heart
Only Love alone can heal

Only Love alone can heal
Only Love alone can heal

Hatred never stopped by Hate, only healed by Love alone
Only Love… only with Love
Hatred never heals the heart
Only Love heals…only Love heals…only with Love
Hatred never stopped by Hatred

Only Love alone can heal – only by Love…. only by Love….
Hatred never heals the heart -only Love alone can heal….
Hatred never healed a heart -only healed by Love alone

Only with love…only Love
Hatred never heals the heart
Only Love can heal
Track Name: No Time or Space
No Time or Space

When I’m fast asleep
No sense of time or place
Where is my body?

What brings me back to time and space and my body?
My body…my body…
Track Name: When I Lose Myself
When I Lose Myself

My love – my love tells me that I am everything
Yet wisdom tells me I am not
In fact, what I am
I am merely nothing

Am I this mind?
Am I this body?
What steers this heart?

Living in a small box
Made from who I think I am - who I am supposed to be
Many thoughts arising
They are not my own
Soon they pass away again

Thoughts arise each day
They think themselves -they think themselves and disappear
Many roles to play
Life gives me roles – life gives me roles to play
I pray that I allow myself to see – the roles I play aren’t really me

When I lose myself, who remains?
When I lose myself
When I lose myself, who remains?
When I lose myself, who remains?
Track Name: Walking Between Dreams
Walking Between Dreams

Take a walk
Take a walk with me
Take a walk with me

Take a walk between the dreams
Take a walk
Take a walk

Take a walk between the dreams
Walking now between the dreams
You know that you are dreaming…dreaming…dreaming

Is this not reality?
...reality...reality
Track Name: Finding Happiness
Finding Happiness

So I tell myself I wanna’ have a life that’s all Happiness
All Happiness – only Happiness
I always look beyond myself for anything or anyone who can destroy Happiness
My Happiness – my Happiness

And while I claim the very opposite, with Ignorance I hurry to create Misery
Only Misery – more Misery
So perhaps I fool myself and now instead admit I’m living with the true enemy
(Of my Happiness)

As I grasp and hold too tightly to protect myself with
Self-cherishing, Self-centeredness,
“My” property, “My” family, “My” body, “My” country, “My” friends, “My” mind…

Everyone wants to be happy
So we try, wet try, we try to protect ourselves
We claim that we want no Misery
Yet we rush to create it’s cause

If I correctly understand, there is a chance to say goodbye to Ignorance,
Goodbye to Attachment, goodbye to Aversion

If I could let these go away and with them my mistaken actions that create Suffering,
Create Misery…
And re-acquaint myself with other possibilities where I avoid Misery,
Escape Ignorance, and find Happiness
Track Name: From Dreams to Awakening
From Dreams to Awakening

Dreams - dreams, then sleep
We move from sleep and dreams to awakening and back again
So which is the real place?
Which is the real place?

Dreams and sleep (no time, no space) or back to awakening with my body?
From dreams to awakening and back again…back again…back again
So which is real?
Which is real?
Is it dreams and sleep or awakening…or awakening in my body?
Track Name: Ghost in Time
Ghost in Time

He was travelling in the borderlands a half a day from home
In crowded streets of strangers where a man could disappear
In a sea of unfamiliar people none of them his own
It was there he saw the face of one so beautiful and dear

As children he had held her hand while valleys they did roam
In time he grew to care for her - his love became sincere
Hers was the strongest heart of any Colleen that he’d known
But he never shared his secret fearing she would disappear

One day she moved away from him, her whereabouts unknown
He’d searched the lonely valleys for her all these many years
Imagine his surprise to find her here so far from home
He thanked his Irish Luck that her vision now appeared

Now years away from childhood he vowed that he’d atone
He’d go to her and tell her, he’d let nothing interfere
So through the crowd he raced and straight behind her he did go
Now his love he could disclose and it seemed his time was here

He called her name and he tapped her shoulder, shouted out, “Hello”
But it wasn’t ‘till she turned to him that it became quite clear
For she wasn’t his lost love or a friend from long ago
He was walking in a dream where she was always near

So gather up your memories and all your precious stone
Hold on to your walking dreams to save as souvenir
And like this man who found out that in suffering we grow
Now he sees her every day in all that’s beautiful and dear
For he’s walking in the dream