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Songs My Father Never Sang

by Charlie Schneeweis

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1.
Three Different States Waking, dreaming and deep sleep Sleep, sleep Three different states, three different states But different consciousness from sleep…to awake….awake…awake We inhabit each Dreaming, sleep, awake Same body Waking, sleep, dreaming - same brain, same body But different consciousness Same brain but different consciousness...different consciousness…different consciousness…from sleep to awake Three different states – waking, dreaming and deep sleep…deep sleep…sleep…sleep From sleep to awake
2.
Heaven and Hell Verse: A knight in shining armor meets a monk in an enchanted wood He says he wants a very simple question answered if he could He wants to know what heaven’s like and how it’s not the same as hell And he should have the answer quick if now the monk would only tell The monk replied with much disdain, “ I couldn’t teach a thing to you. Your dirty hands and ugly face, your simple mind discredits all you do. I see you’re an embarrassment, now leave my sight – be off with you Chorus: Before you leave I see you have a neglected sword Too dull no doubt to take my head with such a rusty blade.” The knight feels (holds) passionate anger Consumed by rage he draws his sword in indignation and irritation He raises it above his head to slay the disrespectful monk who softly says, “Welcome to hell” (here is your hell; here it is) Verse: As if the monk had cast a spell, a frozen knight with sword in air A glimpse of hell is what he sees – it isn’t far away , it’s here Observing the compassion of the monk, who risks his life to show A lesson of both love and kindness many men will never know He is overcome with awe and lowers down his sword to stay And with this sudden peacefulness and calm his anger fades away With grateful tears that fill his eyes he falls upon his knees to pray Chorus: And bowing low in thanks and gratitude he hears the gentle being say these words, “Welcome to the gates of Heaven” You can never wish for gratitude You can only find it for yourself (it’s here right now it’s always there)
3.
The Waking State In the waking state In the waking state Both consciousness and body living together – living together In the waking state Both consciousness and body living together – living together
4.
Nothing to Lose Don’t look at me, I’m an animal Just look away and I’m invisible I’d rather be unemotional I keep my heart in my overcoat Hidden from you Hidden from me Nothing to feel Nothing to see I can be so unapproachable I will protect myself from anyone or anything that threatens me Chorus I’m living deep Deep in a dream I’m in the trance in the trance of unworthiness (it’s up to me, I’m all alone It’s up to me , I’m alone and invisible) I’m living deep Deep in a dream I’m in the trance in the trance of unworthiness (I have to blame, I have to hide I cannot fail, that would be unforgivable) I’m living deep Deep in a dream I’m in the trance in the trance of unworthiness I’m living deep Deep in a dream I’m in the trance in the trance of unworthiness Sometimes I think I’m unlikeable And find myself unacceptable When I’m the cause of unpleasantness and things go wrong, I’m responsible I guess that I’m unreliable (I’m) Broken and Wrong (I’m) Damaged and bad (with) nothing to lose Doubting myself is precarious For in the moment when I make myself what’s wrong my world will disappear I must be strong and unbreakable I can’t be weak or predictable With no protection I am weaponless and still I’m all alone An open heart is indefensible (but) I know the score yes I’m in the know There’s nothing to lose Don’t look at me I’m an animal I only know what I’m sure about I’ll never know or believe that I belong
5.
Drinking Poison Negativity – comes so easily -- but instead of tea --it’s like drinking poison, this avoiding opens doors for ignorance and suffering CHORUS: Will I change something true inside me If I’m looking instead of hiding Can I see any thoughts behind the pain (Lurking just beyond what you can see) Nothing here in my situation Is the cause of this agitation What are bad are the thoughts I entertain (You believe that your thoughts are really true) It’s extraordinary When I finally comprehend that What I’m thinking just may not be true (all your thoughts are temporary) When I think that I got an answer To the question of the moment My days of drinking poison now are through (Am I out of your mind?) Cherishing myself invites attachment, hatred, enemies and lonely suffering (CHORUS) Are you still gonna drink the poison? Do you really have to suffer? Does it help you if you suffer? Should you really have to suffer? Do you like the taste of poison? Do you really like to suffer? Do you want to suffer anymore? Will it help if you choose to suffer more ? Should you really suffer anymore? Are you still gonna drink the poison? Do you really have to suffer? Does it help you if you suffer? Do you like the taste of poison? Do you really like to suffer? Do you want to suffer anymore?
6.
The Dreaming State In the dreaming state The body is abandoned The body is abandoned The body is abandoned The body is retreated from….retreated from…retreated from The body is retreated from….retreated from…retreated from In the dream state In the dream state In the dream state The body is abandoned … abandoned… abandoned And retreated from… retreated from…retreated from
7.
Breathing 04:10
Breathing No one comes, no one goes, resting in the Middle Way No one strong, no one weak, no one young, no one old In “the seen” only what is seen, in “the heard”, only heard In “the thought” there is only thought, in “the word”, only word The mind insists on Past The mind insists on Future Breathing in after breathing out, breathing out after in… Breathing in after breathing out, breathing out after in… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing out, breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out… Breathing….breathing…breathing…breathing Breathing….breathing…breathing…breathing Breathing….breathing…breathing…breathing In the mind, it is not to be – “Mind” is not to be found Thoughts are clouds passing in the sky, waves that roll in the sea Thoughts dissolve even as they form – is it silence or a sound? Pure, clear light- flower of the mind – knowing luminosity The mind insists on Past The mind insists on Future Subtle wind meets the subtle mind In the union there is Light Breathing out after breathing in…Breathing in, breathing out Breathing out, breathing in… Breathing in after breathing out
8.
Deep Sleep 01:37
Deep Sleep In our deepest sleep In our deepest sleep We experience nothing….nothing In our deepest sleep We are unconscious
9.
Enemies 04:38
Enemies When others speak against him, his anger only grows It justifies the hatred and the contempt for all his foes He feels he needs protection from the world and it’s deceits His judgment, fear and suspicion of the people that he meets He asked the local wise man to alleviate his dread He must have been mistaken – for this is what he said: “Cultivate compassion for your enemies instead.” He spoke about not knowing and delusion and what’s at hand “Just ask yourself, “What is this?”, and try to understand Our clinging moves to resentment, to judgment, then on to blame Our aversion moves to anger, to embarrassment, then shame You want to face the world without fear and loss and pain? Then save contempt for no one, in revenge it’s you who’ll pay. Practice loving-kindness on your enemies today.” “We spend our lives protecting the possessions we hold dear- From threatening situations – from pain and loss and fear Forget about perfection. Instead, right now be here.”
10.
Sweet Dreams 01:45
Sweet Dreams Are you sleeping? Are you awake? Are you sleeping? Are you just asleep?? Sleeping? Sleep…sleep… sweet dreams Sweet dreams….sleeping Are you awake? Awake? Are you dreaming? Dreaming? Are you dreaming?
11.
Beyond Eden 03:14
Beyond Eden Let us who seek wisdom, investigate Let us who seek wisdom, investigate Let us who seek wisdom, investigate There is a story of a garden called Eden Of a time and place where lovers fell And in this garden in a secret hidden valley Grows forbidden fruit from a very special tree When first they spied it in the branches of the tree They were truly frightened by their discovery They picked and ate the fruit together fearlessly And tasted of it’s sweetness, they’d sealed their destiny They’d lost their way from Eden Do you agree? Do you believe that feeling or knowing are good or bad or even real ? Do you agree? Do you believe? Believe. Once they both had tasted and the forbidden sweet they shared They had no more questions or answers to their prayers Hand in hand they wandered, side by side they roamed Arm in arm they slept the sleep of those who’d lost their home Hoping for redemption and holding off despair They traveled out of Eden with a fate that they would share Forsaking every safety to hide themselves away Beyond the gates of Eden… Beyond the gates of Eden… Beyond the gates of Eden
12.
Sleeping is Like Death Sleeping Sleeping Sleep sleeping Sleeping Sleeping sleeping Sleeping Sleeping is like death everyday of our lives Sleeping is like death Sleeping is like death everyday of our lives Sleeping is like death everyday of our lives
13.
Sometimes I Forget Free, that’s what I say that I want to be (That’s what you say. That’s what - that’s what you always say) Free from pain and free from any worry Freedom from suffering and from death (You can’t be free- you can’t be free as long as there’s a “me”) I’m looking for the root of happiness What is the cause of all my misery? (It’s in your head - it’s in your head - it’s all inside your head) As if the things I fear are from outside And not creations of my troubled mind (It’s from your mind but you can’t see- it’s your responsibility) Still doubting in the possibility The very things I want imprison me (You hold them tight- you grasp and cling, and they to you mean everything) The nature of myself I come to see I suffer when I just can’t let go (It brings you pain, yet you can’t see- in selfishness you’re never free) Sometimes I forget the things that I know I’m looking at creations of my mind (Hallucinate- hallucinate, your mind hallucinates) And what appears to me is still untrue (You decorate, you decorate with pretty labels of what’s “me” and “mine”) The nature of myself not what it seems (Not what you seem, you’re really not- you’re just projections of your mind) And who I am is something like a dream (You make it up – you always make it up – you make it up each day) Now I know the cause of my misery (You think you know? You think you really, really know?) A selfish mind brings much suffering (A selfish mind, it brings you pain – it’s not the “you” I see) Sometimes I forget the things that I know
14.
Hatred and Love Only Love can heal Hatred never conquers Hatred Only Love can heal…only Love Hatred never heals the heart Hatred never stopped by Hate Hatred never conquers Hate Hatred never healed a heart Only Love alone can heal Hatred never stopped by Hate Hatred never conquers Hate Hatred never healed a heart Only Love alone can heal Hatred never stopped by Hate Hatred never conquers Hate Hatred never healed a heart Only Love alone can heal Only Love alone can heal Only Love alone can heal Hatred never stopped by Hate, only healed by Love alone Only Love… only with Love Hatred never heals the heart Only Love heals…only Love heals…only with Love Hatred never stopped by Hatred Only Love alone can heal – only by Love…. only by Love…. Hatred never heals the heart -only Love alone can heal…. Hatred never healed a heart -only healed by Love alone Only with love…only Love Hatred never heals the heart Only Love can heal
15.
No Time or Space When I’m fast asleep No sense of time or place Where is my body? What brings me back to time and space and my body? My body…my body…
16.
When I Lose Myself My love – my love tells me that I am everything Yet wisdom tells me I am not In fact, what I am I am merely nothing Am I this mind? Am I this body? What steers this heart? Living in a small box Made from who I think I am - who I am supposed to be Many thoughts arising They are not my own Soon they pass away again Thoughts arise each day They think themselves -they think themselves and disappear Many roles to play Life gives me roles – life gives me roles to play I pray that I allow myself to see – the roles I play aren’t really me When I lose myself, who remains? When I lose myself When I lose myself, who remains? When I lose myself, who remains?
17.
Walking Between Dreams Take a walk Take a walk with me Take a walk with me Take a walk between the dreams Take a walk Take a walk Take a walk between the dreams Walking now between the dreams You know that you are dreaming…dreaming…dreaming Is this not reality? ...reality...reality
18.
Finding Happiness So I tell myself I wanna’ have a life that’s all Happiness All Happiness – only Happiness I always look beyond myself for anything or anyone who can destroy Happiness My Happiness – my Happiness And while I claim the very opposite, with Ignorance I hurry to create Misery Only Misery – more Misery So perhaps I fool myself and now instead admit I’m living with the true enemy (Of my Happiness) As I grasp and hold too tightly to protect myself with Self-cherishing, Self-centeredness, “My” property, “My” family, “My” body, “My” country, “My” friends, “My” mind… Everyone wants to be happy So we try, wet try, we try to protect ourselves We claim that we want no Misery Yet we rush to create it’s cause If I correctly understand, there is a chance to say goodbye to Ignorance, Goodbye to Attachment, goodbye to Aversion If I could let these go away and with them my mistaken actions that create Suffering, Create Misery… And re-acquaint myself with other possibilities where I avoid Misery, Escape Ignorance, and find Happiness
19.
From Dreams to Awakening Dreams - dreams, then sleep We move from sleep and dreams to awakening and back again So which is the real place? Which is the real place? Dreams and sleep (no time, no space) or back to awakening with my body? From dreams to awakening and back again…back again…back again So which is real? Which is real? Is it dreams and sleep or awakening…or awakening in my body?
20.
Ghost in Time He was travelling in the borderlands a half a day from home In crowded streets of strangers where a man could disappear In a sea of unfamiliar people none of them his own It was there he saw the face of one so beautiful and dear As children he had held her hand while valleys they did roam In time he grew to care for her - his love became sincere Hers was the strongest heart of any Colleen that he’d known But he never shared his secret fearing she would disappear One day she moved away from him, her whereabouts unknown He’d searched the lonely valleys for her all these many years Imagine his surprise to find her here so far from home He thanked his Irish Luck that her vision now appeared Now years away from childhood he vowed that he’d atone He’d go to her and tell her, he’d let nothing interfere So through the crowd he raced and straight behind her he did go Now his love he could disclose and it seemed his time was here He called her name and he tapped her shoulder, shouted out, “Hello” But it wasn’t ‘till she turned to him that it became quite clear For she wasn’t his lost love or a friend from long ago He was walking in a dream where she was always near So gather up your memories and all your precious stone Hold on to your walking dreams to save as souvenir And like this man who found out that in suffering we grow Now he sees her every day in all that’s beautiful and dear For he’s walking in the dream

about

The music for this project explores three experiential states - dreaming, unconscious deep sleep and being awake. Of the three, we believe that authentic experience resides most fully in the awakened state. When we consider the limitations of such a construction and entertain the possibility that the dreaming state and the "nothingness" of deep sleep offer views of equally credible realities, we expand the circumstances for self-awareness and our understanding of existence.

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released June 3, 2015

Music, lyrics, vocals, instruments, recording, mixing and arrangements by Charlie Schneeweis
All words and music ©2015 by Charlie Schneeweis. All rights reserved.

Gratitude for the gifts of my ancestors.

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Charlie Schneeweis Eden Prairie, Minnesota

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